Sunday, August 13, 2017

Server Tales

Now that I've firmly established my position in the Fraternal Order of Those-Who-Wait-Tables I can safely look back and offer a perspective unmarred by any recent work disasters. As a person with an arts degree I can happily say I've gotten the cliché out of the way. Surprisingly I've found a lot of value in waiting tables. I like to call it the 'Servants' Heart.'

One of the best things serving ever did for me was create a habit of asking: "Do you need anything?" Whether it's necessary or not it never hurts to ask that question. The implication stands: if you ask the question you're obligated to respond. I ask every table at least once: "Do you need anything?" It doesn't matter that I just refilled their waters and they haven't eaten their food. They have to know I'm there. Now, in a restaurant it's my job, but in my everyday life it's my compulsion. I just do it now. I never realized how simple and how rare it is to ask somebody if they need something. Of course, I do it on reflex, but that's what's so important. I'm grateful serving others coached a habit of care into my everyday manner.

Serving also affords me the opportunity to see... life! In all it's varied and different forms. Whether I'm serving country oilmen, young twenty-somethings, or a family of eight I get a perspective on just who occupies this mysterious territory of "the rest of the world." I'm not saying that to be abstract either. When people ask "How could a nation vote a president like Trump in office?" I think back to all the people I served that day and it makes sense. It makes sense because I get to put my thumb on the beating pulse of middle-class America. The America that votes, that protests, but mostly that checks Facebook on their phone during lunch. My advice: never underestimate Middle America. I've gotten pretty friendly with that demographic and they are capable of all kinds of surprises.

I've developed this knack for judging tables pretty quickly too. It's nothing personal. It's just that- usually a server can pick up what kind of guest you're going to be by the time you've ordered your appetizers. You judge mood as much as personality. You judge the tone of the table (is it a business meeting or a birthday party?) You judge how much they'll eat (and subsequently how much you'll make.) Worst of all, most servers can judge what kind of tip you'll leave. They know, early on, and they still serve you. It's one of the worst parts of serving: you're required to take care of people who may not take care of you.

It's curious though, because isn't that what Jesus taught us? Treat others as you would treat yourself. Most of the time you find people ungrateful for whatever you served them. They want to hold you uniquely accountable when odds are good it's not your fault. That's the part about the job (and all customer relations jobs) that's crushing. People can be mean to you and there's nothing you can do about it. It's kept me very humble.

So, I see the best and worst of humanity. I like making my tables laugh, and serving in a restaurant makes me serve others; whether I like it or not. That's not perfectly fair to me, but serving never is. It's why we always complain about our tables in the kitchen. In fact, you can almost expect your server to be saying something about you if you're even remotely troublesome. It's stressful, back breaking work. It's given me a profound appreciation for Middle America. It's taught me to apply sharp criticism. It's also instilled in me a stronger spirit of service. After a year abroad, it's a hard-taught-not-so-refreshing-reminder of what service means.